Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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