When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
