No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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