I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize