i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
