Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
