Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
