I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
