We named our party play list daddy issues
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
