I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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