Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
