would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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