she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize