the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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