Christians are straight up FREAKS
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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