So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Let's paint friendship bongs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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