It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
