If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize