maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do herpes really smell.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize