i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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