it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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