i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
whose parrot is this?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
