you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
