But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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