finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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