How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I supernannyed him into submission
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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