woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
porn star boner night. come get it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
