if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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