can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
