Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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