If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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