I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
