OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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