This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
