We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
