D3 body, D1 cock
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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