if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
