So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
