this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize