please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
