I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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