we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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