u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
