one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
