I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
