I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
