were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
