What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
