We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
