Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
