He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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