if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
honey bunches of taint.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
