your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize