i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
