We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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