its not stalking. its research.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
