i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
