ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
