Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
