They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
