Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and she was petting her beer can
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
