Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize