Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
