Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize