8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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