I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That accounts for only three of the penises
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
