I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
