your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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